Welcome to my journey - history in the making

Hello everyone,

Let me introduce myself.

My name is Dan. I currently live in the south east United Kingdom, in a small village.

I live with my family because my work and financial circumstances currently don't allow for me to live alone; but that's fine. That's life.

I work as a teaching assistant for an education agency, supporting children with behavioural, social and special educational needs.

I enjoy my work, and despite its challenges and relatively low pay, find it quite rewarding.

I love to travel, and I love to go to Disney theme parks around the world.

When I was 21 I decided I wanted to take a year out and live in another country. So, I looked around at the options, and decided to go to Canada. I had always loved North America as a whole, and wanted to explore more of it.

I left for Canada on the 14th November 2007. I had a visa that was valid for one year.

In order to get that visa I literally applied for a scheme run by BUNAC on the internet, and filed the relevant paperwork (which by all accounts wasn't a lot), and voila, I had my visa in no time.

In fact, the biggest challenge I had was when I first arrived in Toronto, the immigration lady was less than welcoming. But let's not worry about that now.

So, I lived with a family in Canada for the best part of a year. We had met through the wonders of Disney forums on the internet!

They became my "adoptive Canadian family", and I still see them to this day.

I had been in Canada for 6 months when something happened that changed my life forever.

Since mid-2006 I had been a paid member of the internet photo sharing website, Flickr.

On Flickr there are millions of users (literally), and probably millions of groups. In these groups, of which there are innumerable categories, you can post photos, and chat with other members.

This is how I met Jon.

It was April 2008. Jon had recently joined Flickr too. I saw some of his photos in the various Disney groups, and I had looked through them - as you do - and favourited and commented on some etc.

Me being me, I decided to send him a private message to properly introduce myself, just to say hi.

He replied. I replied back, and from there we very rapidly built this online friendship. We started chatting on MSN and email. And then we started calling each other on the phone.

It wasn't long before we had really hit it off, and were keen to meet in person.

I was only working part time in a fast food restaurant in the middle-of-nowhere Ontario (sorry Marilynn, but it is true!), and didn't have a lot of money.

Jon being his wacky, but always generous self offered to drive up and get me, and drive me back to Virginia, where he lived, for a vacation!

So we set a date. On the 31st May 2008 Jon took the 12 hour long drive from Dulles, VA to Uxbridge, ON to collect me!

He arrived in the early evening. We watched some movies, got a take-away (take-out!), and prepared ourselves for the long ride back the next day.

On the way up he had deliberately avoided driving via the Falls (Niagara that is), because I wanted him to experience them for the first time with me on our way back down (I had been numerous times already since being in Canada).

So, we drove back to Virginia via some sightseeing and lunch Niagara Falls, and arrived at his apartment in Dulles at about 1am on the 2nd June.

It was a long day, I can assure you!

For those of you that know me well - and those of you who don't, trust me you will get to know me! - you'll know that Jon and I love Disney Characters, and other famous cartoon characters too. So for my close friends reading this, I bet you didn't know that Jon and I met our first 'character' together at the Rainforest Cafe in Niagara Falls? It was their frog mascot, Cha-Cha. Cool huh?

I stayed with Jon for a vacation, and we went to Walt Disney World together for the first time (we had of course both been before, but this was our first time together), and he also showed me the sights around DC. Oddly enough, on my very first trip ever to DC, quite by chance I got to go to the White House! They were doing special tours of the gardens that day. One of only 3 days per year they offer them!

My adventure came to an end, and I flew back to Canada (I couldn't make him drive all that way again!).

We arranged that he come and stay for a few days the following month, which he did. We explored Toronto and began to make future plans...

On the last day of July 2008, I left Canada behind and flew to VA once again, to spend the summer with Jon.

I left in the October with a heavy heart, after some amazing summer adventures.

I won't go into all the details now, because I have talked enough already! But, suffice to say, it was the best summer I had ever had.

Fast forward, and Jon and I have now been together for more than 5 years, and have for a long time had plans to settle together.

That, of course, was never going to be plain sailing.

The United Kingdom in 2005 legalised Civil Partnerships, and for the sake of argument, they are like marriage, but without the name - and you can't have a religious ceremony. Nonetheless, immigration to the UK was possible. I could sponsor Jon.

Last summer (2012) the UK Conservative Government made the undemocratic move of changing their immigration policy, to my understanding without putting it through any sort of vote or debate.

The amount of money a sponsor would now need for a non-EU spouse was now over 18,000 pounds (sorry, my MacBook doesn't have a British pound sign!).

We were devastated. Yes, so we had left it four years already. We could have acted sooner I suppose. But now we were truly gutted by a system that should be there to protect us.

Bi-national couples of any orientation, race, whatever, are now being excluded from immigration because of this hurtful policy. Who says you need to have nearly 20 grand to survive in this country?!

Most people I know don't earn that much. I certainly never have, and I own my car outright, have an iPhone, pay my mum some housekeeping for my loft room and private bathroom, and still travel to see Jon.

It is completely ridiculous and unfair.

Anyway, around the same time, the United States Supreme Court had announced its cases for the coming term. Amazingly a Defence of Marriage Act (DOMA) challenge and a Prop 8 challenge were in there!

DOMA is the discriminatory law that prevents same sex couples from reaping the Federal benefits afforded to heterosexual couples, in the United States.

It was signed into law in September 1996 by President Bill Clinton, and has been fought against ever since. It blocks the most basic civil and equal rights to gay people, including sponsorship of partners for immigration.

On the 27th March this year (2013), the Supreme Court heard the oral argument for United States vs. Windsor.

Mrs. Edith Windsor had been with her life partner Thea Spyer for 40 years, when she sadly passed away in 2009, leaving her entire estate to Edith.

The couple had legally wed in 2007 in Toronto, Canada (where Jon and I first met!), and lived together in New York.

Edith was sent a tax bill for the inherited estate, for more than $363,000. If the Federal Government recognised their relationship, she would not have to pay this bill.

Yesterday, Wednesday 26th June 2013, the United States Supreme Court - on its last day this term before recess, and after months of anticipation - finally released its opinion on the case.

Section 3 of the Defence of Marriage Act was struck down in a 5-4 vote as unconstitutional.

A wave, no, a roar of cheers and relief went through, not just DC, or the US, but the world.

I was part of that 'roar'. I watched the result come in live on the SCOTUSblog, and I fell to the floor - literally - in tears of joy.

The language of the text, written by conservative Justice Kennedy was a scathing attack on the unfair and discriminatory nature of DOMA.

I can honestly say, I have never, ever, been over come with such an explosion of emotions and relief.

Before the decision on DOMA, for the last few months, Jon and I had been making contingency plans in the event DOMA was upheld (which based on the court's reputation, was a very real possibility).

Using my EU Citizen and migration rights, despite not having the money to move to the UK, another EU state cannot deny me and my partner entry. We had planned to either go to Ireland or France.

Neither were ideal of course, and neither place was our home country.

Now, with the demolition of Section 3, we can settle in Jon's home state of Maryland, which I have grown to know quite well over the last 5 years.

It's not going to be a quick and easy process. We have immigration to deal with, but, with DOMA down, there is only one way to go.

Forwards.

I hope you'll join me on my incredible journey.

Dan.