Hello everyone,
Well I said I was going to document every step of the way, and here we are!
This evening I ordered the long/full version of my birth certificate from the UK General Register Office.
When you are born in the UK your parents do not necessarily have to take a copy of the "long certificate" (for what ever reason), but instead get a smaller one, that does not have their names on it.
When you apply for a visa for the US, your birth certificate has to be the long version. If your parents did not collect this, and only have the small one, this is not valid proof for the US visa.
Anyway, it's fairly easy to apply for. You fill in your details as required, and make the card payment online.
There isn't an option for the long or hort version, so don't worry about ordering the wrong thing - they will always send you the long version.
It costs GBP 9.25 (sorry, I don't have a UK pound sign!).
The next thing I'll need to order online is my Police Certificate for the US visa... Although these have limited validity, so I will do that nearer the time as required. They cost GBP 45.
Dan.
Sunday 30 June 2013
The Opinion of the Court
Hello everyone,
I know what's done is done, and of course it's all for the better - more than I could have ever hoped - but I thought I would share with you some of my favourite parts of the official opinion of the Supreme Court, authored by Justice Anthony Kennedy.
I know not everyone wants to sit and study a massive legal document, but some of it is really quite important.
If you really want to, you can read the full opinion on the official Supreme Court website, here, otherwise please continue reading this entry, and I'll share the best parts with you!
When I read through the opinion, it makes me realise that when it comes down to it, those 5 justices cared. You tell from the language in which it's written.
I cannot thank them enough, and applaud their decision to chose their own mind and common sense over the pressure and backlash they would receive from their conservative peers, and the way-off-course Republicans.
The report was also extremely long. Other reports released last week ranged from just 8 pages, to 17, to in the 40s and 50s, but 77 is is really long.
From the outset, on page 2, section 2 (at the bottom), before we even get to the good bits, the opinion states,
"DOMA is unconstitutional as a deprivation of the equal liberty of persons that is protected by the Fifth Amendment."
Then there's a lengthy piece of text about what the State's rights are with regards to marriage. I won't bore you with the whole thing, but this is how that section is summed up, at the bottom of page 3,
"By seeking to injure the very class New York seeks to protect, DOMA violates basic due process and equal protection principles applicable to the Federal Government."
Which basically means DOMA is jeopardising the rights of marriage conferred on a couple by the State - a right only the State has.
And then this part is brilliant (page 4).
"It frustrates New York’s objective of eliminating inequality by writing inequality into the entire United States Code.
DOMA’s principal effect is to identify and make unequal a subset of state-sanctioned marriages. It contrives to deprive some couples married under the laws of their State, but not others, of both rights and responsibilities, creating two contradictory marriage regimes within the same State. It also forces same-sex couples to live as married for the purpose of state law but unmarried for the purpose of federal law, thus diminishing the stability and predictability of basic personal relations the State has found it proper to acknowledge and protect."
And it goes on (I've edited some small parts out that were irrelevant or "boring".
"DOMA undermines both the public and private significance of state-sanctioned same-sex marriages; for it tells those couples and all the world, that their otherwise valid marriages are unworthy of federal recognition. This places same-sex couples in an unstable position of being in a second-tier
marriage. The differentiation demeans the couple, whose moral and sexual choices the Constitution protects, and whose relationship the State has sought to dignify. And it humiliates tens of thousands
of children now being raised by same-sex couples. The law in question makes it even more difficult for the children to understand the integrity and closeness of their own family.
Under DOMA, same-sex married couples have their lives burdened, by reason of government decree, in visible and public ways. DOMA touches many aspects of married and family life, from the mundane to the profound. It prevents same-sex married couples from obtaining government healthcare benefits they would otherwise receive."
The text is very long, and it talks more about the denial of benefits, the denial of the State's rights, and the inconsistency in the law.
The opinion goes on some more, so I won't post any more, but hopefully you get the idea.
I just thought it was important for people to see and understand at least part of how this all happened, and how DOMA was struck down.
It's a huge landmark in history, and we were part of it. It's good to have a grasp on some of it.
Dan.
I know what's done is done, and of course it's all for the better - more than I could have ever hoped - but I thought I would share with you some of my favourite parts of the official opinion of the Supreme Court, authored by Justice Anthony Kennedy.
I know not everyone wants to sit and study a massive legal document, but some of it is really quite important.
If you really want to, you can read the full opinion on the official Supreme Court website, here, otherwise please continue reading this entry, and I'll share the best parts with you!
When I read through the opinion, it makes me realise that when it comes down to it, those 5 justices cared. You tell from the language in which it's written.
I cannot thank them enough, and applaud their decision to chose their own mind and common sense over the pressure and backlash they would receive from their conservative peers, and the way-off-course Republicans.
The report was also extremely long. Other reports released last week ranged from just 8 pages, to 17, to in the 40s and 50s, but 77 is is really long.
From the outset, on page 2, section 2 (at the bottom), before we even get to the good bits, the opinion states,
"DOMA is unconstitutional as a deprivation of the equal liberty of persons that is protected by the Fifth Amendment."
Then there's a lengthy piece of text about what the State's rights are with regards to marriage. I won't bore you with the whole thing, but this is how that section is summed up, at the bottom of page 3,
"By seeking to injure the very class New York seeks to protect, DOMA violates basic due process and equal protection principles applicable to the Federal Government."
Which basically means DOMA is jeopardising the rights of marriage conferred on a couple by the State - a right only the State has.
And then this part is brilliant (page 4).
"It frustrates New York’s objective of eliminating inequality by writing inequality into the entire United States Code.
DOMA’s principal effect is to identify and make unequal a subset of state-sanctioned marriages. It contrives to deprive some couples married under the laws of their State, but not others, of both rights and responsibilities, creating two contradictory marriage regimes within the same State. It also forces same-sex couples to live as married for the purpose of state law but unmarried for the purpose of federal law, thus diminishing the stability and predictability of basic personal relations the State has found it proper to acknowledge and protect."
And it goes on (I've edited some small parts out that were irrelevant or "boring".
"DOMA undermines both the public and private significance of state-sanctioned same-sex marriages; for it tells those couples and all the world, that their otherwise valid marriages are unworthy of federal recognition. This places same-sex couples in an unstable position of being in a second-tier
marriage. The differentiation demeans the couple, whose moral and sexual choices the Constitution protects, and whose relationship the State has sought to dignify. And it humiliates tens of thousands
of children now being raised by same-sex couples. The law in question makes it even more difficult for the children to understand the integrity and closeness of their own family.
Under DOMA, same-sex married couples have their lives burdened, by reason of government decree, in visible and public ways. DOMA touches many aspects of married and family life, from the mundane to the profound. It prevents same-sex married couples from obtaining government healthcare benefits they would otherwise receive."
The text is very long, and it talks more about the denial of benefits, the denial of the State's rights, and the inconsistency in the law.
The opinion goes on some more, so I won't post any more, but hopefully you get the idea.
I just thought it was important for people to see and understand at least part of how this all happened, and how DOMA was struck down.
It's a huge landmark in history, and we were part of it. It's good to have a grasp on some of it.
Dan.
Clarification on the newly approved green card applications
Hello everyone,
Yesterday I posted that same sex bi-national couples have started receiving their approval notices from the US immigration services.
I made the comment that these must have been ones submitted before DOMA was thrown out.
I did some looking around the internet, and I posted in some Facebook groups, and it seems - from what I can tell - I was right.
Now, in the process of me asking around I had some very 'off' replies from people who claimed that they don't see my point, and that they "didn't have anything to lose" at that point when they filed.
I'm no immigration expert by any means, but it was a risk, and they did have something to lose.
When you enter the US on a visa waiver or tourist visa, they ask you if you have ever been denied entry into the US.
I realise this doesn't necessarily translate to "have you ever been denied a green card application?", but I would not want to fly to DC, turn up at the border, and be told to go back home. They can ban you from the country for 5 years for that.
Maybe I'm missing the point. I don't know. But it does seem that these people took a huge risk.
It's bad enough being separated by distances as it is, let alone not being allowed into the country!
If you are currently in a situation like Jon and I, where you are about to file or waiting until you get some better legal advice, just make sure you research all the facts first.
The outcome is the most important thing, and you don't want to mess it up!
Dan.
Yesterday I posted that same sex bi-national couples have started receiving their approval notices from the US immigration services.
I made the comment that these must have been ones submitted before DOMA was thrown out.
I did some looking around the internet, and I posted in some Facebook groups, and it seems - from what I can tell - I was right.
Now, in the process of me asking around I had some very 'off' replies from people who claimed that they don't see my point, and that they "didn't have anything to lose" at that point when they filed.
I'm no immigration expert by any means, but it was a risk, and they did have something to lose.
When you enter the US on a visa waiver or tourist visa, they ask you if you have ever been denied entry into the US.
I realise this doesn't necessarily translate to "have you ever been denied a green card application?", but I would not want to fly to DC, turn up at the border, and be told to go back home. They can ban you from the country for 5 years for that.
Maybe I'm missing the point. I don't know. But it does seem that these people took a huge risk.
It's bad enough being separated by distances as it is, let alone not being allowed into the country!
If you are currently in a situation like Jon and I, where you are about to file or waiting until you get some better legal advice, just make sure you research all the facts first.
The outcome is the most important thing, and you don't want to mess it up!
Dan.
Saturday 29 June 2013
BREAKING! Same Sex Green Cards applications have begun being approved!!
Hello everyone,
Breaking news across the internet this afternoon is that bi-national couples have already started receiving the official notifications from the immigration services that their green card applications have been approved!
This is quite remarkable since Section 3 of DOMA was only thrown out on Wednesday!
I doubt these are new applications, since that would be way too quick - these are probably ones put on hold that were filed by people before DOMA was thrown out.
It had been in the news that pending the outcome of DOMA, applications were being held, instead of being denied.
Honestly, it is amazing for those folks that this is now happening, but I would not have taken the risk of a visa denial in the event of an unfavourable DOMA ruling.
It's bad enough that Jon and I are in the present situation, let alone being banned from entering the US or something because of a bad visa application!
We've gone through too much to experience that!
So although now a happy result, those people were taking a huge risk!
Just my thoughts.
Dan.
Breaking news across the internet this afternoon is that bi-national couples have already started receiving the official notifications from the immigration services that their green card applications have been approved!
This is quite remarkable since Section 3 of DOMA was only thrown out on Wednesday!
I doubt these are new applications, since that would be way too quick - these are probably ones put on hold that were filed by people before DOMA was thrown out.
It had been in the news that pending the outcome of DOMA, applications were being held, instead of being denied.
Honestly, it is amazing for those folks that this is now happening, but I would not have taken the risk of a visa denial in the event of an unfavourable DOMA ruling.
It's bad enough that Jon and I are in the present situation, let alone being banned from entering the US or something because of a bad visa application!
We've gone through too much to experience that!
So although now a happy result, those people were taking a huge risk!
Just my thoughts.
Dan.
Thank you!
Hello everyone,
I just want to say thanks for the support you have shown so far for this blog!
I have had nearly 300 visits now, from 10 different countries!
I really hope that you find it useful, and continue to follow me on my journey to moving to the US!
Dan.
I just want to say thanks for the support you have shown so far for this blog!
I have had nearly 300 visits now, from 10 different countries!
I really hope that you find it useful, and continue to follow me on my journey to moving to the US!
Dan.
Friday 28 June 2013
FREE Legal Consultation Being Offered for Bi-National Couples!
Hello everyone,
I have yet another really great piece of information! Two in a row!
The DOMA Project just posted on their Facebook page this image (below), about FREE consultations being offered by Masliah & Soloway, for same sex bi-national couples!
We have already emailed them, and already had a reply!
They seem very friendly, and have sent us forms to fill out with all our details, and a list of documents they require from us in order to set up a FREE consultation about our situation!
We have so many questions now that DOMA has been struck down, and I've spent the last 2 days giving myself a headache, so this is very welcomed!
Although not obligatory, seeing as they are waiving their $475 fee, they have asked for a small donation where possible.
After we have had our consultation, and are satisfied with their service we will definitely make a donation. Their willingness to help for free, and the fact they care about people in our situation means a lot to us, so a small contribution (not $475 of course!) would be fair.
Dan.
I have yet another really great piece of information! Two in a row!
The DOMA Project just posted on their Facebook page this image (below), about FREE consultations being offered by Masliah & Soloway, for same sex bi-national couples!
We have already emailed them, and already had a reply!
They seem very friendly, and have sent us forms to fill out with all our details, and a list of documents they require from us in order to set up a FREE consultation about our situation!
We have so many questions now that DOMA has been struck down, and I've spent the last 2 days giving myself a headache, so this is very welcomed!
Although not obligatory, seeing as they are waiving their $475 fee, they have asked for a small donation where possible.
After we have had our consultation, and are satisfied with their service we will definitely make a donation. Their willingness to help for free, and the fact they care about people in our situation means a lot to us, so a small contribution (not $475 of course!) would be fair.
Dan.
Helpful DOMA Q&A Sheet
Hello everyone,
This extremely useful fact sheet was just compiled and posted online by a collaboration of equal rights groups, including Immigration Equality (a site I had previously recommended).
It may answer a lot of questions you have.
You can click the highlighted links below to go to the full sized page.
Dan.
This extremely useful fact sheet was just compiled and posted online by a collaboration of equal rights groups, including Immigration Equality (a site I had previously recommended).
It may answer a lot of questions you have.
You can click the highlighted links below to go to the full sized page.
Dan.
Friday Round-up
Hello everyone,
I have made quite a few posts so far this week, so let's take a look at the highlights.
To begin with, if you haven't already, you should read my long introduction to this blog, and my situation.
Click here to read that.
I made several posts regarding pages across the internet that might be useful when planning your own marriage, and immigrating to the US with you partner now that DOMA has been struck down.
Click here for useful webpages.
Click here for useful Facebook pages.
Click here for my entry about the Purple Unions website.
For light reading to make you laugh, you might want to read about my Canadian experience.
If you're unsure if you're country offers same sex immigration policies, click here.
I also posted a link to a book that you can order (you can order a PDF version if both partners are not currently outside the US). It has a wealth of information that is well worth reading, regarding the immigration process and law.
I'll try to post more over the weekend.
Dan.
I have made quite a few posts so far this week, so let's take a look at the highlights.
To begin with, if you haven't already, you should read my long introduction to this blog, and my situation.
Click here to read that.
I made several posts regarding pages across the internet that might be useful when planning your own marriage, and immigrating to the US with you partner now that DOMA has been struck down.
Click here for useful webpages.
Click here for useful Facebook pages.
Click here for my entry about the Purple Unions website.
For light reading to make you laugh, you might want to read about my Canadian experience.
If you're unsure if you're country offers same sex immigration policies, click here.
I also posted a link to a book that you can order (you can order a PDF version if both partners are not currently outside the US). It has a wealth of information that is well worth reading, regarding the immigration process and law.
I'll try to post more over the weekend.
Dan.
Recommended Immigration Law Book
Hello everyone,
The immigration process to the United States is not straight forward. It can take many months, a lot of money, and a lot of paperwork. And that's if you're legally married and have all the correct requirements!
Jon and I are probably going to hire an immigration lawyer to help us through the process, but we also bought a book from Nolo, who specialise in law.
The current edition on their website of course is pre-DOMA, but all the technicalities and the principle should remain the same. It is an extremely useful resource, and is definitely cheaper than a lawyer!
http://www.nolo.com/products/fiance-and-marriage-visas-imar.html
Dan.
The immigration process to the United States is not straight forward. It can take many months, a lot of money, and a lot of paperwork. And that's if you're legally married and have all the correct requirements!
Jon and I are probably going to hire an immigration lawyer to help us through the process, but we also bought a book from Nolo, who specialise in law.
The current edition on their website of course is pre-DOMA, but all the technicalities and the principle should remain the same. It is an extremely useful resource, and is definitely cheaper than a lawyer!
http://www.nolo.com/products/fiance-and-marriage-visas-imar.html
Dan.
18, and one more makes 19!
Hello everyone,
I was pondering how many of you out there might be in a similar situation as Jon and I, with being a bi-national same sex couple.
It made me wonder how many lives across the globe were affected by hurtful immigration policies.
To my knowledge (and I could be wrong), but before the historic decision in the US this week, only 18 countries allowed sponsorship for same sex couples. Now, with the death of DOMA in the newly liberated USA, there are 19 countries that allow it.
That really isn't a lot.
As far as I know the countries that allow sponsorship are:
Australia
Belgium
Brazil
Canada
Denmark
Czech Republic
Finland
France
Germany
Iceland
Israel
The Netherlands
New Zealand
Norway
South Africa
Spain
Sweden
The United Kingdom
and now the United States
If I've missed a country off of the list, please let me know.
Of course, if you've read my first entry on this blog, you'll know the UK just made it a lot more difficult, not just for same sex couples, but all bi-national couples as a whole.
If at least one of you isn't in one of those countries listed above, how do you cope?
Despite the new financial rules, at least Jon and I had some hope because I am from the UK.
Dan.
I was pondering how many of you out there might be in a similar situation as Jon and I, with being a bi-national same sex couple.
It made me wonder how many lives across the globe were affected by hurtful immigration policies.
To my knowledge (and I could be wrong), but before the historic decision in the US this week, only 18 countries allowed sponsorship for same sex couples. Now, with the death of DOMA in the newly liberated USA, there are 19 countries that allow it.
That really isn't a lot.
As far as I know the countries that allow sponsorship are:
Australia
Belgium
Brazil
Canada
Denmark
Czech Republic
Finland
France
Germany
Iceland
Israel
The Netherlands
New Zealand
Norway
South Africa
Spain
Sweden
The United Kingdom
and now the United States
If I've missed a country off of the list, please let me know.
Of course, if you've read my first entry on this blog, you'll know the UK just made it a lot more difficult, not just for same sex couples, but all bi-national couples as a whole.
If at least one of you isn't in one of those countries listed above, how do you cope?
Despite the new financial rules, at least Jon and I had some hope because I am from the UK.
Dan.
The Color Purple
Hello everyone,
This blog entry isn't about Alice Walker's acclaimed lesbian novel (as much as I love it!), it's just the title seemed apt somehow!
I was looking on the internet for websites that list gay friendly wedding venues.
I found Purple Unions, and although it looks a bit cheesy on the outset, actually has a wealth of information.
For example, Jon and I are looking to get married in Maryland.
So, I selected the USA-MD option from the locator, and selected Officiants as the venue search category (you can search everything from photographers, receptions venues and ministers to conduct the ceremony), and it brought up all the venues in Maryland that are listed as gay friendly.
If there's anyone out there who doesn't know where to start looking, then definitely check it out!
Dan.
This blog entry isn't about Alice Walker's acclaimed lesbian novel (as much as I love it!), it's just the title seemed apt somehow!
I was looking on the internet for websites that list gay friendly wedding venues.
I found Purple Unions, and although it looks a bit cheesy on the outset, actually has a wealth of information.
For example, Jon and I are looking to get married in Maryland.
So, I selected the USA-MD option from the locator, and selected Officiants as the venue search category (you can search everything from photographers, receptions venues and ministers to conduct the ceremony), and it brought up all the venues in Maryland that are listed as gay friendly.
If there's anyone out there who doesn't know where to start looking, then definitely check it out!
Dan.
Thursday 27 June 2013
Light anecdote for your Thursday
Hello everyone,
I was going through an old, old blog of mine that I used to keep several years back. I had mainly run it during my time in Canada, to document that experience of moving to another country (seems like a running theme with me is blogging when I move to another country... but anyway!).
It has a lot of junk on it that isn't relevant anymore (probably never was, if the truth be told!), but I did find one entry that made me laugh.
I found Canadians to be very different to what I had expected. I had anticipated that they would be much like their American counterparts south of the border. How wrong I was!
Canada is a very different place, as are her people.
This entry is from Sunday 23rd December, 2007. I had been in Canada about 5 weeks at this point.
"Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the town, not a creature was stirring - but for one house...
So here I sit in my room. It is the 23rd December, but unofficially in this house it is Christmas Eve. Why? Because R has to work all through the holiday and he wont be able to see the kids open presents otherwise. So tomorrow evening we will do the opening of gifts. But not ones from Santa of course - he still has to come Christmas Eve and leave the stockings and whatever else...
The upstairs bathroom is still being rebuilt, so there are currently 7 people (B has gone to his parents for the holiday) using one bathroom downstairs. Not good when for 3 days at least 5 of us have been very sick with some "24 hour" bug.
Things I have learned here in Canada so far:
You can drive in a van to a place called Dominion, grab a cart from the corral and go foffing...
Canadians sound nothing like Americans once you get used to it
Everything is so slow!
Technology is about 50 years behind
Pay 'n' Go is an alien concept yet to be discovered
Boy does it snow!
Customer service needs to be, well, exist...
It's cold
Flipping your house doesn't literally mean what it sounds like...
On the other hand flipping the laundry is what it sounds like...
CV's are resumes
A loonie isn't someone who belongs in an asylum
Not saying "you're welcome" after someone has thanked YOU can be considered rude!
The British either have funny accents or are hippies (thanks M, nice... real nice!)
Everything (nearly) is "plus tax"
Travel can be expensive and slow
A toque and a parka aren't items of stationary
Canadians are generally more intelligent than the Americans
Mince meat is hamburger. Hamburger is hamburger
Pasta can be called anything from noodles to spaghetti, regardless or whether it is shaped like a noodle or not... ("Pass me the noodles", "there aren't any", "you're looking right at them", "these? These are sheets of pasta for lasagna")
Lasagne is spelled lasagna
William Shatner is Canadian, and is just as annoying on TV here as anywhere else
Dx"
I can't speak for my opinions back then, and have no defence if anyone is offended by any of the above. It is what it is. I've become more rounded in 5 years.
In the 5 years I have been going back and forward from the US visiting Jon, I have come up against some quirks between American and British English, and culture, too.
I definitely look forward to having these similar sorts of experiences once I live in the US full time!
Dan.
I was going through an old, old blog of mine that I used to keep several years back. I had mainly run it during my time in Canada, to document that experience of moving to another country (seems like a running theme with me is blogging when I move to another country... but anyway!).
It has a lot of junk on it that isn't relevant anymore (probably never was, if the truth be told!), but I did find one entry that made me laugh.
I found Canadians to be very different to what I had expected. I had anticipated that they would be much like their American counterparts south of the border. How wrong I was!
Canada is a very different place, as are her people.
This entry is from Sunday 23rd December, 2007. I had been in Canada about 5 weeks at this point.
"Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the town, not a creature was stirring - but for one house...
So here I sit in my room. It is the 23rd December, but unofficially in this house it is Christmas Eve. Why? Because R has to work all through the holiday and he wont be able to see the kids open presents otherwise. So tomorrow evening we will do the opening of gifts. But not ones from Santa of course - he still has to come Christmas Eve and leave the stockings and whatever else...
The upstairs bathroom is still being rebuilt, so there are currently 7 people (B has gone to his parents for the holiday) using one bathroom downstairs. Not good when for 3 days at least 5 of us have been very sick with some "24 hour" bug.
Things I have learned here in Canada so far:
You can drive in a van to a place called Dominion, grab a cart from the corral and go foffing...
Canadians sound nothing like Americans once you get used to it
Everything is so slow!
Technology is about 50 years behind
Pay 'n' Go is an alien concept yet to be discovered
Boy does it snow!
Customer service needs to be, well, exist...
It's cold
Flipping your house doesn't literally mean what it sounds like...
On the other hand flipping the laundry is what it sounds like...
CV's are resumes
A loonie isn't someone who belongs in an asylum
Not saying "you're welcome" after someone has thanked YOU can be considered rude!
The British either have funny accents or are hippies (thanks M, nice... real nice!)
Everything (nearly) is "plus tax"
Travel can be expensive and slow
A toque and a parka aren't items of stationary
Canadians are generally more intelligent than the Americans
Mince meat is hamburger. Hamburger is hamburger
Pasta can be called anything from noodles to spaghetti, regardless or whether it is shaped like a noodle or not... ("Pass me the noodles", "there aren't any", "you're looking right at them", "these? These are sheets of pasta for lasagna")
Lasagne is spelled lasagna
William Shatner is Canadian, and is just as annoying on TV here as anywhere else
Dx"
I can't speak for my opinions back then, and have no defence if anyone is offended by any of the above. It is what it is. I've become more rounded in 5 years.
In the 5 years I have been going back and forward from the US visiting Jon, I have come up against some quirks between American and British English, and culture, too.
I definitely look forward to having these similar sorts of experiences once I live in the US full time!
Dan.
Pages to follow
Hello everyone,
I wanted to share some Facebook pages with you that might be useful for those who wish to follow the progress of gay rights, and/or are in a similar situation to Jon and I.
These pages offer good community support, and often refer to other pages on the internet that offer good reference guides and information about gay marriage, and gay rights.
Over time I will share more, but seeing as this blog is less than a day old, I won't bombard you all!
Dan.
Human Rights Campaign
Stonewall
NOH8
Lambda Legal
I wanted to share some Facebook pages with you that might be useful for those who wish to follow the progress of gay rights, and/or are in a similar situation to Jon and I.
These pages offer good community support, and often refer to other pages on the internet that offer good reference guides and information about gay marriage, and gay rights.
Over time I will share more, but seeing as this blog is less than a day old, I won't bombard you all!
Dan.
Human Rights Campaign
Stonewall
NOH8
Lambda Legal
BUNAC - where would you like to go?
Hello everyone,
In my first, very long post, where I introduced myself and my story, I mentioned something called BUNAC, without really talking about what it is.
BUNAC stands for British Universities of North America Club. They are an organisation that can arrange gap years, working holidays and other visas to young people around the world. Despite its name, the 'club' does offer programmes to places outside of North America also, such as Australia and New Zealand.
As I mentioned in my first post, I used their services to move to Canada, where I lived and worked in Toronto, before I met Jon.
If you love travel like me, or are looking to maybe even eventually settle in another country further down the line, a working holiday/gap year is a fantastic way to get to know a country.
And who knows, you might meet your life partner, like I did!
Give them a try, you never know where you'll end up!
Dan.
In my first, very long post, where I introduced myself and my story, I mentioned something called BUNAC, without really talking about what it is.
BUNAC stands for British Universities of North America Club. They are an organisation that can arrange gap years, working holidays and other visas to young people around the world. Despite its name, the 'club' does offer programmes to places outside of North America also, such as Australia and New Zealand.
As I mentioned in my first post, I used their services to move to Canada, where I lived and worked in Toronto, before I met Jon.
If you love travel like me, or are looking to maybe even eventually settle in another country further down the line, a working holiday/gap year is a fantastic way to get to know a country.
And who knows, you might meet your life partner, like I did!
Give them a try, you never know where you'll end up!
Dan.
Useful links
Hello everyone,
If you haven't read my lengthy introduction to my story already, I highly recommend you read it here!
Below I am going to link to some very useful pages on the internet that I have been using to begin my journey to the US, now that DOMA has been struck down.
I am sure there are many of you who are in a confused situation too, so I am sure these will be useful!
If any of you want to share some off your links, leave a comment and I'll definitely edit them into this post!
If you haven't read my lengthy introduction to my story already, I highly recommend you read it here!
Thanks,
Dan.
Welcome to my journey - history in the making
Hello everyone,
Let me introduce myself.
My name is Dan. I currently live in the south east United Kingdom, in a small village.
I live with my family because my work and financial circumstances currently don't allow for me to live alone; but that's fine. That's life.
I work as a teaching assistant for an education agency, supporting children with behavioural, social and special educational needs.
I enjoy my work, and despite its challenges and relatively low pay, find it quite rewarding.
I love to travel, and I love to go to Disney theme parks around the world.
When I was 21 I decided I wanted to take a year out and live in another country. So, I looked around at the options, and decided to go to Canada. I had always loved North America as a whole, and wanted to explore more of it.
I left for Canada on the 14th November 2007. I had a visa that was valid for one year.
In order to get that visa I literally applied for a scheme run by BUNAC on the internet, and filed the relevant paperwork (which by all accounts wasn't a lot), and voila, I had my visa in no time.
In fact, the biggest challenge I had was when I first arrived in Toronto, the immigration lady was less than welcoming. But let's not worry about that now.
So, I lived with a family in Canada for the best part of a year. We had met through the wonders of Disney forums on the internet!
They became my "adoptive Canadian family", and I still see them to this day.
I had been in Canada for 6 months when something happened that changed my life forever.
Since mid-2006 I had been a paid member of the internet photo sharing website, Flickr.
On Flickr there are millions of users (literally), and probably millions of groups. In these groups, of which there are innumerable categories, you can post photos, and chat with other members.
This is how I met Jon.
It was April 2008. Jon had recently joined Flickr too. I saw some of his photos in the various Disney groups, and I had looked through them - as you do - and favourited and commented on some etc.
Me being me, I decided to send him a private message to properly introduce myself, just to say hi.
He replied. I replied back, and from there we very rapidly built this online friendship. We started chatting on MSN and email. And then we started calling each other on the phone.
It wasn't long before we had really hit it off, and were keen to meet in person.
I was only working part time in a fast food restaurant in the middle-of-nowhere Ontario (sorry Marilynn, but it is true!), and didn't have a lot of money.
Jon being his wacky, but always generous self offered to drive up and get me, and drive me back to Virginia, where he lived, for a vacation!
So we set a date. On the 31st May 2008 Jon took the 12 hour long drive from Dulles, VA to Uxbridge, ON to collect me!
He arrived in the early evening. We watched some movies, got a take-away (take-out!), and prepared ourselves for the long ride back the next day.
On the way up he had deliberately avoided driving via the Falls (Niagara that is), because I wanted him to experience them for the first time with me on our way back down (I had been numerous times already since being in Canada).
So, we drove back to Virginia via some sightseeing and lunch Niagara Falls, and arrived at his apartment in Dulles at about 1am on the 2nd June.
It was a long day, I can assure you!
For those of you that know me well - and those of you who don't, trust me you will get to know me! - you'll know that Jon and I love Disney Characters, and other famous cartoon characters too. So for my close friends reading this, I bet you didn't know that Jon and I met our first 'character' together at the Rainforest Cafe in Niagara Falls? It was their frog mascot, Cha-Cha. Cool huh?
I stayed with Jon for a vacation, and we went to Walt Disney World together for the first time (we had of course both been before, but this was our first time together), and he also showed me the sights around DC. Oddly enough, on my very first trip ever to DC, quite by chance I got to go to the White House! They were doing special tours of the gardens that day. One of only 3 days per year they offer them!
My adventure came to an end, and I flew back to Canada (I couldn't make him drive all that way again!).
We arranged that he come and stay for a few days the following month, which he did. We explored Toronto and began to make future plans...
On the last day of July 2008, I left Canada behind and flew to VA once again, to spend the summer with Jon.
I left in the October with a heavy heart, after some amazing summer adventures.
I won't go into all the details now, because I have talked enough already! But, suffice to say, it was the best summer I had ever had.
Fast forward, and Jon and I have now been together for more than 5 years, and have for a long time had plans to settle together.
That, of course, was never going to be plain sailing.
The United Kingdom in 2005 legalised Civil Partnerships, and for the sake of argument, they are like marriage, but without the name - and you can't have a religious ceremony. Nonetheless, immigration to the UK was possible. I could sponsor Jon.
Last summer (2012) the UK Conservative Government made the undemocratic move of changing their immigration policy, to my understanding without putting it through any sort of vote or debate.
The amount of money a sponsor would now need for a non-EU spouse was now over 18,000 pounds (sorry, my MacBook doesn't have a British pound sign!).
We were devastated. Yes, so we had left it four years already. We could have acted sooner I suppose. But now we were truly gutted by a system that should be there to protect us.
Bi-national couples of any orientation, race, whatever, are now being excluded from immigration because of this hurtful policy. Who says you need to have nearly 20 grand to survive in this country?!
Most people I know don't earn that much. I certainly never have, and I own my car outright, have an iPhone, pay my mum some housekeeping for my loft room and private bathroom, and still travel to see Jon.
It is completely ridiculous and unfair.
Anyway, around the same time, the United States Supreme Court had announced its cases for the coming term. Amazingly a Defence of Marriage Act (DOMA) challenge and a Prop 8 challenge were in there!
DOMA is the discriminatory law that prevents same sex couples from reaping the Federal benefits afforded to heterosexual couples, in the United States.
It was signed into law in September 1996 by President Bill Clinton, and has been fought against ever since. It blocks the most basic civil and equal rights to gay people, including sponsorship of partners for immigration.
On the 27th March this year (2013), the Supreme Court heard the oral argument for United States vs. Windsor.
Mrs. Edith Windsor had been with her life partner Thea Spyer for 40 years, when she sadly passed away in 2009, leaving her entire estate to Edith.
The couple had legally wed in 2007 in Toronto, Canada (where Jon and I first met!), and lived together in New York.
Edith was sent a tax bill for the inherited estate, for more than $363,000. If the Federal Government recognised their relationship, she would not have to pay this bill.
Yesterday, Wednesday 26th June 2013, the United States Supreme Court - on its last day this term before recess, and after months of anticipation - finally released its opinion on the case.
Section 3 of the Defence of Marriage Act was struck down in a 5-4 vote as unconstitutional.
A wave, no, a roar of cheers and relief went through, not just DC, or the US, but the world.
I was part of that 'roar'. I watched the result come in live on the SCOTUSblog, and I fell to the floor - literally - in tears of joy.
The language of the text, written by conservative Justice Kennedy was a scathing attack on the unfair and discriminatory nature of DOMA.
I can honestly say, I have never, ever, been over come with such an explosion of emotions and relief.
Before the decision on DOMA, for the last few months, Jon and I had been making contingency plans in the event DOMA was upheld (which based on the court's reputation, was a very real possibility).
Using my EU Citizen and migration rights, despite not having the money to move to the UK, another EU state cannot deny me and my partner entry. We had planned to either go to Ireland or France.
Neither were ideal of course, and neither place was our home country.
Now, with the demolition of Section 3, we can settle in Jon's home state of Maryland, which I have grown to know quite well over the last 5 years.
It's not going to be a quick and easy process. We have immigration to deal with, but, with DOMA down, there is only one way to go.
Forwards.
I hope you'll join me on my incredible journey.
Dan.
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